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Friday, November 11, 2005
9:54 PM
I'm now in the middle of my Os.

Dear BLog,

Ok, good day everyone. Now, Open your mouth big big, then try to stick out your lips as ar as you can. Now slowly wrap your lips around your teeth and say "OOooooo". Because that's what I am just in the middle of! yes,yes, Watever... So lets start by with the routine with mine complaing about my performances and school stuff.
Today is , sort of, the middle of the Os. for me. Coz I've completed 3/6 days oft he examinations. All the paper I've had so far, suxed. Ok either I fucked them up, or i just KNEW i could have done better if i did tis or that. Emaths paper 1, I've counted, I lost about 5 marks to carlessness already. And after counting the max. amt of marks i can lose to "unknowin, further carelessness and stupidity" I've lose at least another 20 marks. Wow! thats y i'm hoping i can skip some of the normal carelessness. And hopefully, I wasnt in a real bird brain mood when i took the paper. Today's paper two was fine. I am only confirmed that i lost 3 marks. lolz. There Shouldn' have been much careless mistakes. Id ono i just dont think so. I mean it CANNOT be dont carelessly, Or i'll lose all chances of ever getting another distinction for my Os cert apart from chinese.
Anyway, move on. The SS paper 1 TOTALLY SUX. the Spore MOE ppl really got me MAD!. Either that or they are out to play a trick on honest peopel like me who rely on MYSELF alone to spot topics and study. I mean EVERYTHING that i've studied. DIDNT come out. Sri lanka, conflict in korea and venice came out. Som eof your out there must be thinking "hey thats my Os qns" . THAT, is exactly the POINT here. its all came out b4. in 2002 and 03 i guess. i TOTALLY though growth ogf nations will come out. BEcause it hasn been set. AND sg's edu system has changes SO BLOODY much. especially for my batch if ppl.THe Pri sch edu changes i cant rememebr now. but i knew there were. The IP started from my batch. And My batch was the ones cheated out of 1st 3 mths in jc than got put back in again. MY bathc are the ones who HAD to study 4 subjects in jc COMPULSORY. I mean some ppl (like me) are not that smart. Studying 7 subjects at jc lvl ( hack the Ao and A standard coz they ll be the same to me) for 2 yrs then sitting for the "most diffcult examinations" in probably mien and a lot of others' whole life is almost impossible for me. *Argh* I'm such a complain queen hor!. I'm just int he mood mayb. But then, I always seen to be int eh mood to complain. gosh*
SO!! bk to my "OOOoo"s . The english paper was fine. But i think i souldn chosen the topic i did " 'parents and teachers are parthners in the education of children' how can teachers and pareants work together in the education of children". Around there. I souldn have choosen it. Coz all mostly those who haf a better command of english would choose that. I should have chosen the one about "marriage". Coz i think i'll write a better discussive about that. REAlly, I've asked sm1 in my class who did the same topic as me. and wow, jsut the sound of the pts and thngs he wrote make my essay sound ametuer ( wait how do you spell this?). see THAT's the extend of my lousiness of english. anyway today's lit paper 1 oso. I SOULD NOT HAVE don the extract. I mean i've studied a lot abt Mr.Hooper. Although i've only average in revision in mrs kingshaw, I will do better if i did the one about the parents. BUT instead I have to go adn do the extract about the ending of the story. It wasn a v lousy essay. But I totally wrote out of the PEEP or the now revised PEE format. Haiz!!! REAlly...... MY prelim essay got 17 for the mr Hooper essay lor!. ok tts not good, but under circumstances thatthe marker complimented me!!!. I mean .. ok watever I dont wanna think abt it anymore. YUK. OOh, and i fucked up my unsean poetry. the prose was a fake, so diffcult dono wad its tokign abt. the poem was easy to understand. BUT i totally didn see any diction/imgery? the qns as in wad was did the poet make the blabla striking and how did the poet blabla.. those kind. I am soOooOooo dead. But i did comment on the format of the stanzas? the rhyme ? a bit? ok. FINE ... let them fail me.! i DONT CARE! (actually i do, a LOT)
I guess u undersand the mood I am in for today rite. ANd when my mom come home, she have to remind me that I AM NO CHILD PRODIGY. MNYP send me some brochure and she started askin me was course i wanna study if i cannot go jc blabla. then she say "hai, lidat how? You dont even now wad course you wanna study." so ii replied. "i know wad course I wanna study, Its design. ALl teh other courses are the same to me if i ned to choose smthing else" . So its not I dono wad to study rite?! Then she said " A LOT OF PPL oso wanan study fashion design when they were young" . I know my mother very well she actualyl means this "you dotn have obvious talent, no ppl support you, no ppl recognise you, you have no money. You study design nex time you starve" I'm not exaggerating. She said all those b4 last time. But she didn say i starve, she say "i wunt be able to support myself".
Mayb its true, Mayb really dont have a future in design. mayb no one will recognise my work,Mayb like my mom said my interest will die out.But you know something. The first time i attempted to draw a figure with clothes was when I was5 or 6 when my parents were still in China with me. The earlierst draw experiance i remembered was when iw as in my dad's office. abt 6 yrs old. I was still drawing woman with perfectly circled head(compess). Then one of his female collegues came over and showed me how to draw human heads w/o the ruler. and ever since then i developed the nterest in draw human forms. than blablabla..I attempted design of fairytale princess dress when i was in primary 1 or 2 after being exposed to Sleeping beauty, Cinderalla, blabla. that lasted me until about primary 4 ? I drew quite a lot ot fairytale princess dress. And even tried to mix-and-mathc a fairytale princess to wear my dress. lolz. i remember I drew on foolscap paper, on my maths workbook when i got sick and tired of hw. and i even kept 2 or 3 sketching , small note bks.i didn even up finishing any of them, but i did keep them. finished about 1/3 of each b4 they disappear coz I move ouse or smthing. Ohh, i dono realli. I mean, I am still drawign on my foolscap papers and textbks now. You mean an interest that lasted a lil more than 10yrs will *poof* disappear?.
I noe studyin tt subject is totally different from getting into it just as an interest, But i doubt I will end up hating design coz i need to study for tests of it, like how i jsut NOW i will hate dental nursing or business management and wad not.. I dono. I mean i noe i am naturally the most hardworkign person. THe only thing that allowed me to sit at my chair for 3 - 4 hours on end was when i was drawing some study clothes on stupid models with no facial features. Ooh, and i also played gb for 3 hrs non-stop. haha....anyway, i dono if i've said this. My mom told me to go jc/poly than try get myself into some course in U. then go NIE train and next tiem b a teacher. so that i can have "free time abd the holidays to persue my interest." She understands that Ive come to the stage where i dont only want it as a interest. That i wanna work towards teh scholarship offered for tops students int eh design streams in soem schs to go overseas to further study it.She knows i want to make a name for myself. Even if its a small name. As long as got a handful of ppl recognice me i'm ok. Isn't it the same sa if i go poly and go out to work wiht 1000+ a mth? She can accept that i study business in poly and go and work 1000+ a mth. but she cant accept that i study design and end up earning only 1000+ a mth. I noe it ll be diffcutl and it'll b frustrating coz i'll be the lapdog of some otehr designer, and tt is if i'm lucky. ID ont noe. ITs a diffcult road. And i've never been the lucky kind. So wad sh said really got into me. Although a large part still insist that i make her belive that i AM different from THOSE PEOPLE, who jsut for a few mths in their lives wanna ba a designer coz they see a lot of the pretty clothes on magazines. It might be why i'm so interested, to have my own fashion show oneday. But i didn read magazines when i was 6 yrs old. you mean everyone of those collegues of hers who had wanted to go into design came up wth their own model sketch base and fairytale dresses?!. . ok i'm getting too aggitated. haha.. actually, watever la. i dont care already. Just one step at a time. The msot I 'lls queeze into pj or innova than try to persuade her again in 2 yrs time to let me study design in U. :D and if i cant get into the U... den...i dono, i should go and die then. lolz..
OK, I feel now that i've done complaining. MY recent entries seemed to be all about me complaing about design courese adn my mom. I dono mayb my mom's disapproval of it has made my so-called passion for design stronger?.. god.. i cant beleive I'm relaly serious about smting. hahaz... I'll try not to complain about the samees tigns nex time. Hopefuly when i nex tok abotu design, it ll be some good or at least pleasant news. :) Now i have to work hard for my Lit 12th nite physics, hist and chem papers :( .....



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