I am up to my neck with work and bored out of my head right now. The other 3 of my gang of 4 are all missing until now, and that makes it just more boring.

I have not been doing much updates about my school work, so i'll just do a quick overview. My photoshoot is next sunday, 25th April. The assessment itself is tentatively around 7th-10th of May. The fashion show is on the 26th of May......

The most exciting thing to look forward to is probably the possibility to show my collection in the London Fashion week in the Graduate show. 4 schools world wide are chosen to showcase a few students work. It is amazing one of them is a school from Singapore, even mre amazing it's my school. The punch line is that only 4 of us can go. This was supposed to be decided after the assessment but the tickets to London are running out. ....
Hence, they are choosing tomorrow, Friday. I'm not really feeling the excitement this time, which is really weird because I am really excited and I really want to go (so is everyone else) ......

I'm looking at random horoscope readings while I wait for Christine to come back with lunch. I think it's amazing how these things can be so accurate. Sometimes even though certain things doesn't seem accurate on the surface, I often find that it's just that something or some reason is stopping me from being like that. Maybe like a lack of confidence, or expectations from my family, or most likely, time issues due to school/work. yadahh yadahhh yadahh....... I'm going to stop rumbling and get back to work.

Everything else is going on really smoothly. I think the best birthday present this year is I got myself back and I'm treasuring myself, everyone around me much more than before. I'm just happy that a new chapter of my life is starting!.. Time to start job-searching soon. :)


Now some random horoscope things I've been reading on www.horoscope.com .
It's really coincidental that my chinese horoscope is the Dragon, which matches that on the website.
Every desccription of Aries I've read before is fun-loving, have lots of friends, popular. Not really the case for me? Yeah, fun is good, but I don't think I am a very fun person. Or at least I dont find there are any fun places in Singapore. There are so many activities to do and places to visit and play at in China. Here it is really just plain. I dont have a lot friends either, maybe I am, just picky? . .. blah blah blahh...... I'm going back to work now :)





Next entries, My recent E.L.F. and GardenofWisdom Haul. :)

Labels: Blog Posts

我好辛苦啊.... 我怎么每次都这么笨， 感情方面的事总是搞不好,又做错了事，说错了话...
爱一个人有时真的很痛苦， 因为太在意对方的感受； 太害怕会失去他， 搞得总是提心吊胆。 总觉得， 一个身边有那么多女性朋友，很注重外表， 而且那么喜欢和异性打交道的人，怎么会对我满足呢...
开心的时候真的好像有飞得感觉， 但是难受的时候也真的让我以泪洗面，辛酸痛苦。 以前觉得只要让我远远看上一眼，就已经很满足了。 那么看来我应该已经非常幸福了， 但事实并不是这么简单的。爱是好， 但爱对方比较多的那个总是会比较辛苦. 像我这样， 知道对方永远都不会像自己爱他的那么爱你... 每天都好比有万针穿心得感觉。 这样的大喜大悲， 真的搞的我快要崩溃了。

就算从他好朋友口中得到了一些欣慰的话和认同， 但那种两个人之间的距离感还是存在。 可能是因为相处的世间太短， 所以他没办法对我敞开心怀； 或者是心里还有些不能和我谈的一些顾虑。

因为不想让他感到有压力，更不想操之过急把人家下坏了，每一次都自己躲起来哭。可是这样真的很难过。我总是摆这一副轻松， 大方，不在乎的样子， 希望这样不会给他压力。 但一直把自己那些没安全的嫉妒都藏起来。 我真的不习惯和朋友一起分享爱人， 一直以来都是人家一心一意的爱我，眼里都之有我。要和这么多条件超好的人一起分享我最爱得人， 真的让我很吃不消。 每个人都希望自己爱的人能同样程度的爱自己， 但那好像真的很难。 我起劲束手无策了， 我式这把自己的需要都抛在脑后，但没办法把心酸和难受也一起丢掉。 翻来覆去总是这个样子。 如果我长的再出众一点，性格更有趣一些， 或许就能够好好的把他的心绑住，让他对我心满意足。

到最后，我难受的时候既然沦落到要向blog诉苦， 真的是很失败。 希望老天能再帮我一把，让事情能进展的顺利，我也好想有美满的幸福。 这几年我过得苦日子也应该够了吧， 不要在捉弄我， 小女的心灵真的没办法再受大打击了。

我好爱你啊， 可不可以也同样的爱我呢?

Labels: Blog Posts